i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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