If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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