I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
