he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
