i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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