the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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