you would pick up someone in the library
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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