the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
