Me. At least after what I've been through.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
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Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
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Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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