So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
