I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
