Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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