so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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