Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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