out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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