Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
