giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
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We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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