Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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