i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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