She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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