you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize