I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
