I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize