I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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