Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think a kid would responsible me up
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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