You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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