oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student