I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
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i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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