lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
