hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
