What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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