Your face is a jimmy john
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize