Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize