I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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