I wish I could punch you in the face.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Semen is not good for contacts.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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