I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I will be naked everywhere
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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