Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
