Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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