Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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