if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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