Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
