Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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