I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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