YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
