you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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