She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
