i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
