I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
