Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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