He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
