I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
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thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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