Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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