When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
