You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
