About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
