There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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