I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
