that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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