Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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