so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
